Treat cloud AI sex chat as stored personal data unless the provider clearly proves otherwise. A “private chat” label may mean other users cannot see it; it does not automatically mean zero retention, no staff access, no model processing or instant deletion. Keep real names, face photos and location out of your first test.
A guest chat appeared under “Saved Chats” despite the warning
On September 24, 2026, SpicyChat warned me that guest chats “will not be saved.” Yet after a harmless fictional exchange, I opened “View Saved Chats” in desktop Chrome and found one conversation with its last reply visible. “Manage chats” exposed a “Remove Selected” control. This only describes what the same browser session displayed. I did not press delete, inspect server retention or test another device, so it is not proof of permanent storage or complete erasure.
Ask four different privacy questions
- Who can view the conversation: other users, character creators, moderators or support staff?
- What data is stored, and for how long after deletion?
- Is chat content used to train or improve models, even in aggregated form?
- Can you export and delete both messages and derived memories?
These are separate controls. A private character setting is not a private conversation policy.
A memory-deletion detail people miss
I compared SpicyChat’s Memory Manager with its Semantic Memory documentation. The vendor says deleting a memory does not erase messages that mentioned it. It also says editing or deleting messages may leave a derived semantic memory until you update that memory separately. That is an important product-documented behavior, not a privacy audit.
The practical implication is to look for two deletion surfaces: the transcript and any saved memory or summary. If a product cannot explain both, do not assume that deleting one removes the other.
A delete button answers only one question
Seeing a conversation disappear from the screen tells you the interface changed. It does not tell you whether a backup, model log or derived summary was also removed. For a low-risk check, use a made-up name and a harmless preference. Note what you can delete in the UI, then read the provider’s retention and deletion policy for what happens behind it. Treat the UI result and the policy promise as separate evidence.
On a shared device, the immediate risk may be local history or browser previews rather than training data. On a private device, account recovery and third-party model processing may matter more. Decide which risk you are trying to reduce before comparing “private” badges.
A deletion check I would run before a personal chat
I would create a fictional preference, let the service store it, then delete the message that introduced it. Next I would open the saved-memory screen and look for the same preference. If it remains, I would remove it there too. This is a test recipe, not a claim that I ran it in a paid account. It exposes a risk that a generic “delete chat” checklist misses.
Private character does not mean private infrastructure
SpicyChat’s character visibility guide distinguishes public, unlisted and private characters. Those settings control discoverability of a character, not necessarily how the platform stores your messages. I would never use a visibility switch as a substitute for reading the service’s privacy policy.
The same guide explicitly says moderators can still see hidden characters. That does not mean moderators routinely read private chats; it means a private character setting is not an end-to-end confidentiality guarantee. Keep those two claims separate.
For Nomi, its own privacy FAQ says it uses anonymized conversation information to improve AI behavior. That is a provider claim; it is not independent verification. Read the current policy and decide whether that use fits your risk tolerance.
Check whether you can delete a single mistaken message
Nomi’s official FAQ on message deletion specifically says a Nomi’s replies cannot be deleted or re-rolled. It does not settle whether a user can remove a message they typed. I would check that separate control before entering personal details rather than assuming a mistaken line can be surgically removed. Full account deletion is a much bigger action; Nomi says that removes all messages, not just one.
This is not a claim that Nomi exposes chats publicly. It is a narrower product-control finding: the user may have less ability to edit the record than a generic privacy badge suggests.
Deleting an account may not stop an external subscription
SpicyChat’s account-deletion instructions say a subscription bought on its website cancels with account deletion, but one purchased through Google Play or SubscribeStar keeps billing until cancelled with that provider. If you are leaving for privacy reasons, cancel an external subscription first, then delete the account. I verified the written policy, not an actual billing cancellation.
Local chat reduces one risk, not every risk
Running SillyTavern on your computer keeps its interface and stored chats under your control. It does not make a cloud model private. If you connect a remote inference API, your prompt travels to that provider. You also need device security and backups; a local chat file on an unlocked shared laptop is not private.
Next step
Before your first personal conversation, test with a fictional profile and locate both the chat-delete and memory-delete controls. If those controls or the retention policy are unclear, use a local model or choose another provider. Never upload another person’s intimate image without consent.